So, how are you doing?

Before you answer “okay,” take a minute to come up with a more accurate answer. A truer answer. One that reflects the tension in your shoulders, that sense that you’ve forgotten how to breathe deeply, or that it seems so difficult lately to really focus in on anything.

What’s that not okay feeling about? That’s stress.

That’s how you’re really doing.

And living with stress, on an ongoing basis, does a real number on your body and mind. In fact, living with unchecked stress actually kills.

Realistically, no one can live on the edge of collapse, constantly pumping stress chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol, through their bodies without causing some health problems.

It’s important to recognize too that, to live longer and relax better, it will take more than a once-a-year vacation at the beach.

So, are you ready to restore calm, soothe your body and mind, and experience comfort and balance again? Here are a few tips to take your stress in hand:

1. Breathe

Deep breathing soothes and settles.Try a variety of deep ­breathing exercises to help relax muscles and reduce stress responses like  hyperventilation, rapid heartbeat, and escalating anxiety.

Learning to control breath rate, oxygen intake, and exhalation will help you stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system, the system enacted during periods of rest, assuring that you feel calm and in control.

2. Move

Unaddressed stress can punish your digestive and nervous systems significantly. Stave off stress-related health problems with a daily dose of physical activity. A routine rush of feel­-good neurotransmitters is released when you go for a brisk walk run, or spend some time in a gym or pool. The boost to your immune system that results, is crucial for coping with stress and mental strain. You’ll see the calming benefits of exercise, even if all you can fit in are 20 to 30 minutes a day.

3. Release

There is significant research indicating that stress and anxiety can reside or get “stuck” in the body. The connection between the mind and body should not be ignored pertaining to stress relief. To manage that connection in healthy, beneficial ways, a variety of body­-centered techniques support awareness of sensations and physical responses to stress. Work with a therapist may help identify stress-related physical issues in order to restore balance and harmony.

4. Listen

Check your internal chatter. The stress you feel may have a lot to do with the internal dialogue going on in your head. Self-criticism, negative thinking, and perfectionism shape unrealistic expectations and harsh perspectives when you think of yourself and your abilities.

Who do you say you are? How often do you compare yourself to others and come up short? Do you spend too much time managing every detail, ruminating on the past, or dreading the future?

Learn to slow down. Challenge the validity of your self-talk and racing thoughts. Stress will start to fade in the face of intentional awareness and deliberate decisions to replace negative chatter with self-supporting encouragement.

5. Check in

With your internal chatter quieted, ask yourself, “How am I ?”

Then, spend some time really finding out. You’re stressed because something is happening inside you. Why are you responding to the pressures of work, family, or even the daily commute, so strongly? Investigate your triggered emotions.

Redirect your thoughts from fear, worry, and generally feeling “stressed out” to better concentration on the present moment. Journaling and regular sessions with a counselor may be helpful for working through some of the feelings you uncover.

6. Touch

Healthy human contact is phenomenal for stress relief. Whether you schedule a regular massage or linger in a bear hug with your partner after work everyday, don’t underestimate the power of touch. Physical contact soothes and reconnects people in a stress-filled, disconnected world.

7. Meditate

Consider meditation an additional opportunity to disconnect from negative thinking to observe your emotions and stressors. Meditation helps release stress by absolving you of the need to control, direct, or deny your anxiety.

The reality of what is stressing you comes into focus from a place of directed concentration and calm, mental distance. Without immersing yourself in it, you can simply see a stressful situation it for what it is and feel less overwhelmed.

Most of all, recognize that stress does not have to be a constant companion.

If you find that your body is worn down and your mind is taxed, don’t wait. Things will only get worse without action.

Talk to your physician, schedule time with a therapist. Take care of yourself. You are more in control than you realize.

Meet the needs of your body and mind, and live well for a long, long time.